


Coffee Shop Rivalry

by In_love_with_too_many_fandoms



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Found from a tumblr prompt, Humor, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-05-08 08:10:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5489936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/In_love_with_too_many_fandoms/pseuds/In_love_with_too_many_fandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which the Reds and the Blues have rival coffee shops</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blue Bean

“What are they doing?” Tucker asked Church. 

“I don’t fucking know!” Church yelled. “Why don’t you stop asking me and look outside the window yourself?”

“Because you have a better view.”

“But you’re standing right next to me!”

“Exactly. I’m trying to see what’s happening.”

“Tucker, they are doing the exact same thing we are doing. They are running their coffee shop. I can’t believe they would open up a coffee shop right across the street from another one!”

“Technically we both opened our shops around the same time,” Caboose butt in.

“Shut up Caboose!” Tucker and Church yelled in unison. 

Caboose bowed his head in disappointment and sulked off to his station. Church found Caboose to be too stupid to be able to make drinks. He thought Caboose would just make a giant mess. He also believed Caboose was too stupid to man the cash register. The guy could hardly count to ten! So, Caboose was sent to greet the customers when they entered the door. In all honesty, he could hardly get that right.

“Hey Caboose,” Tucker said, knowing he’d regret it.

Caboose whipped his head around in excitement. He was happy to know he was getting recognition. “What? What is it?” He sounded like a happy puppy.

“You’re right by the door. Tell me, what are they doing across the street at Red Roast?”

Caboose looked out the window in the door. That was a bad idea on his part, for he almost got hit in the face by the door swinging open by a customer. The customer rushed into the coffee shop in a flurry of panic.

“Welcome to Blue Bean,” Church said, trying not to laugh at Caboose’s mishap. Tucker was doubled over behind him in a fit of giggles. “What can I get for you?”

“Quick! I need a double chai latte without the chai stat!” the customer shouted out at Church. Tucker abruptly stopped laughing and just looked at the woman with intense confusion. 

Church held up a hand to try and calm the panicked woman. “Excuse me? What did you order?”

“You heard me! Double chai latte without the chai! And I’d like it sometime today! I’m a busy woman! I have to get back to work! Chop chop!”

Church was quickly getting tired of this woman’s attitude. “I’m sorry but I don’t fill insane orders. Especially to crazy women who walk in here demanding absurd drinks. Now, would you like a chai latte in the amount of time that it takes Tucker to make it effectively or not?”

The woman looked at her watch. She threw her arms up in the air in frustration. “I don’t have time for this shit! I knew I should have just gone to Red Roast! I’ll just take my business elsewhere.” The woman stormed out of Blue Bean, making a point to slam the door behind her. 

“Good,” Church muttered under his breath. “Let those damn reds deal with that basket case full of crazy.”


	2. Red Roast

“We have a customer!” Simmons shouted from his spot behind the cash register. 

 

Donut looked out the glass door to see a woman coming over from Blue Bean. He was prepared to welcome her to the better of the two coffee shops. As she approached, Donut started to open the door. “Hello! Welcome to Red Roast! How can I-” Donut began. The woman threw open the door next to the one Donut was holding open. She quickly bypassed him and ran to the cash register.

 

Simmons opened his mouth to welcome the woman into the coffee shop, but her words spilled out before he could say anything. “I need a double chai latte without the chai right now! I have a business meeting in ten minutes and I can’t be late! So I would like my latte sometime today!”

 

Simmons didn’t understand the order the woman was trying to place at all. He shook his head and asked, “So you want just a regular latte?”

 

“Yes! A chai latte without the chai! Just a plain latte! Was that so hard to ask for!?”

 

Simmons was still a little confused, but shook it off and asked the next question to get this order on it’s way to being made. “Okay, now what size would you like?”

 

“A medium,” the woman said without missing a beat.

 

Simmons grabbed the medium cup size and the closest black marker he could find. He uncapped it and put the pen to the cup. “Now can I get a name for this order?”

 

“I don’t see why this is really necessary when I am the only one in here, but just put Tex.”

 

Simmons wrote the short name and handed the cup over to Grif so he could start making the latte. He started to ring up Tex’s latte. “Alright, now is it just the latte?”

 

“Yes!” Tex stated, clearly exasperated.

 

“Okay. That will be two dollars and eighty-six cents.”

 

Tex handed Simmons three dollars. He placed the bills inside the cash register and handed her back her change. She placed it in the tip jar and headed over to the other counter to receive her drink.

 

Simmons looked down at the floor. He couldn’t stop thinking about one of his co-workers and how he always seemed to make him blush. Just as Simmons was deep in thought, a door coming from behind him slammed open.

 

“Simmons!” The manager, Sarge, shouted. “I’m not paying you to stand here and daydream! There are customers in need of drinks! Get to it!” Sarge went back through the door he recently just came out of.

 

Simmons looked up and noticed that Sarge was right. In front of him stood a tall man in a dark blue shirt and a dark blue apron. This man wasn’t any old customer; he was a worker at Blue Bean.

 

“What do you want?” Simmons asked the man harshly. He hadn’t meant for it to come out so rudely, but after the encounter with Tex, he guessed it was just natural. 

 

“Church wanted to see how your encounter with the rude lady went,” the man replied.

 

Simmons quickly glanced to his right to see if Tex was still there. Thankfully she wasn’t. He didn’t feel like having a second confrontation with her.

 

“Everything went fine, I guess, Mr… Church.”

 

“Oh no. I am not Church. Church is my best friend. I am Caboose. He sent me to be his messenger.”

 

Simmons just shook his head again. He couldn’t help but feel confused about this entire situation. 

 

“Okay then. Hello Mister Caboose. Why didn’t Church come over here himself?”

 

“He was afraid.”

 

“Afraid of what, exactly?”

 

“Afraid that you people would be mean and hurt him.”

 

“Well then, Caboose, go on over to your little coffee shop, Blue Bean, and tell Church to meet me at the restaurant on the corner of Main Street and seventh avenue at six o'clock tonight. I want to have a talk with him.”

 

“Okay. Have a nice day Mister Simon!” Caboose squinted at the name tag tacked to the left side of Simmons’ chest. He nodded to himself, possibly feeling like he got something right. Simmons rolled his eyes as Caboose walked out of Red Roast. 

 

Simmons watched as he walked across the street and went into Blue Bean. Simmons then turned his gaze to the clock behind him. It read four forty-five. He was going to have to cut his shift a little short to meet with the owner of Blue Bean and settle their differences once and for all.


	3. Church Explodes

Church watched as Caboose practically skipped across the street from Red Roast to Blue Bean. Church looked down at the floor.“I really wonder about this guy sometimes…” Church muttered under his breath. Church looked up at the door just as it opened to show Caboose enter the coffee shop.

 

“So how did they fair with our awful customer?” Church asked, almost sneering the words.

 

“Good,” Caboose said. “They made money.”

 

Church looked at Caboose like he had two heads. “What did you say?”

 

“Good. They made money,” Caboose repeated.

 

“Fuck!” Church screamed. He made Tucker jump as he was filling a canister with coffee beans. The beans went everywhere. “Fuck!”

 

“What?” Caboose asked, clearly confused by Church’s sudden angry outburst.

 

“Those dimwits over there made a sale when we couldn’t! Do you know what this means?” Caboose shook his head. “Of course you don’t! You’re an idiot too! It means that they are ahead of us in sales! They’re doing better than us and we’re behind. That means that we’re closer to closing our shop than they are. There’s only room for one coffee shop on this street, and Blue Bean is the only decent one here.”

 

Tucker strolled over to the cash register. “You know, that’s not necessarily true. We could be ahead of sales and this is just one sale towards them getting closer to beating us.”

 

“That’s not helping!” Church started screaming again. “Now go over and finish cleaning up those beans you spilt! Those could be pushing us over the edge of failure! We don’t have all the money in the world!” Caboose held up his hand to speak, but Church started ranting before he could get a word in edgewise. “What the fuck do you want now? Haven’t you caused enough trouble? You know what, don’t answer that! Obviously you didn’t because you still have more things to say! What the fuck do you want?”

 

“Mister Simon wants to meet with you today,” Caboose said, almost timidly. 

 

“Who the fuck is Mister Simon?” Caboose pointed behind him at Red Roast. “Well did this ‘Mister Simon’ say what time he wanted to meet with me?” Church was almost about to explode.

 

“Six o’clock.”

 

Church looked behind him to read the clock. It read five fifteen. Kaboom. “WHAT THE FUCK!? Why didn’t you say this from the very beginning!? I have to be out of here by five thirty and I can’t have you two bumbling idiots running the shop! It will burn down before the end of the night! Flowers is no help in there!” Church motioned to the ‘Employees Only’ door. 

“This is awful! It takes about an hour to clean up this shop and we have fifteen minutes! That’s it! The meeting with this Simon jackass will have to be short. I can’t afford to lose anymore money to those reds!”

 

Tucker resurfaced from behind the giant coffee maker. “Don’t worry, Church. I’ve got everything under control.” He holds up a dust pan full of coffee beans. “See, these beans are practically all taken care of. It’ll be fine. I can babysit this one.” Tucker motioned to Caboose with his shoulder. This movement caused half of the beans in the dust pan to fall out. “I mean to do that!” Tucker went back down on the floor to pick up the beans.

 

Church was so angry but didn’t have the energy to yell anymore. He just rolled his eyes and sighed. “Pick those up and throw them in the trash when you’re done.” He turned his attention back to Caboose. “While I’m gone, I just want you to sit at a table and do nothing. If Tucker asks for your help, don’t listen to him. He’s a big boy and he can handle it by himself. Do you understand?”

 

Caboose nodded and went over to the table in the corner. He pulled out the chair and sat down.

 

Church removed his blue apron from around his neck and placed it on the counter. He shook his head, unable to understand why he would allow these dumbasses to run the shop by themselves. He walked over to the table that Caboose had sat down at. “Now what are you going to do?”

 

“Sit here and do nothing. Do not help Tucker, even if he asks for help.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Church, I have a question.”

 

“What is it Caboose?”

 

“You said not to do anything, but am I allowed to look out the window?”

 

Church rolled his eyes again for the second time in the past three minutes. “Yes, you can look out the window.”

 

“Yes! I like to look at the clouds. Look! That one looks like a rabbit!”

 

“Okay, yes good Caboose. It does look like a rabbit.” Church didn't even know what Caboose was talking about, but decided to go along with it anyways. “Where did ‘Mister Simon’ say to meet at?”

 

“Main Street.” Caboose was clearly too immersed in the clouds to fully pay attention.

 

“The Main Street Cafe or somewhere on Main Street?”

 

“Main Street,” Caboose repeated. Church realized he wasn’t going to be able to get a coherent answer out of him, so he just assumed he meant the Main Street Cafe.

 

“Okay. Bye Caboose.” Caboose didn’t even say anything. He kept staring out the window. Church walked over to the front door. Bye Tucker.” Church heard a muffled goodbye from behind the coffee machine. Church rolled his eyes again. He quickly looked at the clock. It read 5:26. If Church was going to make it on time, he was going to have to sprint. He opened the door to exit Blue Bean. He closed his eyes and hoped that his gut was telling him the right place to go. He opened his eyes and started running to the Main Street Café.


	4. First Meeting Issues

Simmons

 

Simmons checked his phone. The time changed from five fifty-nine to six o’clock. He walked into the Applebee’s on the corner of Main Street and Seventh Avenue. Simmons noticed that the waiting area was empty, save for two waiters and the stewardess milling around. He walked up to the stewardess and she smiled at him. 

“Hello! How can I help you tonight?” The stewardess asked politely.

“A table for two please,” Simmons stated simply. “I am still waiting for the other member of my party.”

“All right. Have a seat then. If they do not show up in the next ten minutes, I will bring you to your table.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Simmons sat down in the seat closest to the podium where the stewardess was sitting. Simmons pulled his phone out again. It read 6:03. ‘Where is this guy from Blue Bean!?’ 

 

-

 

Church

 

Church reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. The time read 6:03. He looked into the window of the Main Street Cafe. Only one guy was sitting by himself, but he had a laptop with him and earbuds in, so this probably wasn’t that Simon guy. Church, phone still in hand, put it up to his face to dial Caboose’s number. He put the phone up to his ear and listened to it ring. Caboose picked up on the third ring. “Hello?” Caboose sounded far away.

“Caboose? It’s me, Church!”

“Hi Church! How’s Mister Simon?”

“I don’t know, Caboose. He isn’t here.”

“Hey look! That cloud looks like the number seven. Wait a minute…”

“What is it Caboose?”

“Church…”

“What is it?”

“Please don’t yell at me. I don’t want my best friend to be mad at me.”

Church rolled his eyes. “Just tell me what it is Caboose. I can’t waste anymore time.”

“It’s not the Main Street Cafe. It’s the restaurant on the corner of Main Street and seventh avenue. I wouldn’t have remembered if it weren’t for the clouds. Oooo look! That one is a camel!”

Church was so mad, he was seething. He hung up the phone and shoved it back into his pocket. He didn't feel it vibrate so he knew Caboose wasn’t going to apologize. Why would he? He’s a fucking idiot! Church knew better than to rely on Caboose for information, yet he still does. Church started sprinting towards seventh avenue, seven full blocks away. He prayed that this Simon person would still be there. 

 

-

 

Simmons

 

A shadow fell over him. “I can take you to your table now, if you’d like.” The stewardess was standing over him, the smile still prominent on her face. Simmons closed out Candy Crush on his phone. The time read 6:15. He got so sidetracked by Candy Crush that he didn’t even realize the time. 

Simmons stood up and began to follow the stewardess when the door blew open. The two stopped in their tracks and turned around. In the doorway, there was a man with a lighter blue T-shirt. However, this man’s T-shirt was drenched in what appeared to be sweat. He was panting like a dog. “I’m here!” He attempted to shout, but was so out of breath it came out in a normal tone.

Simmons turned his attention to the stewardess. She was shocked by the newcomer’s appearance. She shook her head and turned to Simmons. “Is this the other member of your party?” Simmons nodded. She turned her attention back to Church. “Sir, please follow me.” The stewardess started walking to the table. Simmons walked behind her. He could hear the man trying to catch his breath behind him. The stewardess stopped at a booth. Simmons slid into one side and the man, Simmons presumed was Church, slid into the other side of the booth. The woman dropped two menus onto their table. “Your server will be with you shortly.” She practically ran back to the front of the restaurant.

Simmons opened up his menu and peered at the man from behind it. Once, it seemed like he had caught his breath, Simmons began speaking to him. “So, are you Church?”

“What was your first clue?” Church picked up his menu and started browsing. 

Simmons was about to speak again, but their waiter showed up before he could say anything. He placed down napkins as coasters. “Good evening. My name is Charles, but you can call me Palomo. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Water!” Church shouted. “Three of them, and make it snappy!” 

Palomo looked shocked by Church’s demand. “Are one of those waters for you?”

“I’ll have a ginger ale.”

Palomo quickly scurried away. About a minute later he returned with the four drinks. He placed the three waters down in front of Church and he snatched one up immediately. He gulped the entire thing down before Palomo could even put down Simmons’ ginger ale.

“Are you two ready to order?” Palomo asks, just as Church slams the second empty glass of water.

“I’ll have the cheeseburger, medium please.” Church’s attitude took a drastic turn after those two glasses of water.

Palomo wrote down Church’s order and then turned his attention to Simmons. “I’ll have the same thing.” Palomo soon headed for the kitchen to place the orders. Simmons looked at Church and he was already half way through the third glass of water. Church placed the half empty glass back down on the table.

“So why did you call me here, Simon?” Church asks, half rudely half full of genuine curiosity.

“Who the fuck is Simon?” Simmons asked. 

Church’s hand was reaching out for the glass of water again. He stopped dead in his tracks. “Your name isn’t Simon?”

“It’s Simmons.”

“Fucking Caboose!” Church slammed his hands down on the table. This caused the other diners in the restaurant to stare at the two men. Church gave them all dirty looks and they quickly turned around back to their meals/menus. “That guy can’t do anything right. I don’t know why I still allow him to do anything.”

“You mean the guy that you sent to talk to me?”

“Yes! Him! He gave me the wrong restaurant to go to. I was standing outside of the Main Street Cafe for five minutes before I call him and got the right address.”

“Wow. Why did you send him in the first place?”

“It wasn’t really my doing.” Church must have recognized Simmons’ look of confusion, because he continued speaking. “Tucker told him to go. I just encouraged him.” Simmons didn’t feel like asking anymore questions that just lead to more confusion. He just nodded his head in agreement. “So why did you ask me to meet with you?”

“I wanted to meet the person who sent Caboose to do their dirty work. I didn’t realize this should have been a party of three.”

“Well I couldn’t leave the coffee shop alone with…” Church started to trail off and got a far away look in his eyes.

“What? What is it?”

“I left the coffee shop alone with only Tucker running it… It’s better than Caboose but still. There is only one person running the entire shop…”

“Isn’t Caboose still there?” 

“Yes, but I gave him a special job; to look out the window and stare at the clouds.”

Simmons motioned to the window, signalling that it’s now night. “I think he would notice that he can’t see anymore clouds now.”

“No. you don’t understand. I told him not to leave that window for anything. He’s not supposed to leave if Tucker even asks him to and he’s not going to defy my orders to follow anything Tucker tells him to do.”

“Sounds like you have a loyal friend, there.”

“I wouldn’t really call him a friend. He’s more of a lost puppy who’s now following the orders of his new master.”

Simmons didn’t really know what to say. Thankfully for him, he didn’t have to say anything. Palomo came just at the right time, carrying two cheeseburgers. He set one down in front of Simmons and one in front of Church. He quickly scurried away but then came back carrying a bottle of barbecue sauce. He placed it on the table and then left to wait on another table. Church snatched up the sauce and lifted his top bun. He slathered barbecue sauce all over the burger, threw the bottle back onto the table, and replaced the top bun. Simmons did the same thing with ketchup, but about half of the amount of sauce Church used.

Church practically inhaled his burger. He was done with his before Simmons was even halfway through with his. Church had demolished his fries before Simmons could even start on his. Simmons started awkwardly eating his fries while Church stared at him. When Simmons finally finished, Church tried to wave down Palomo. He came soon after seeing Church’s raised hand, as well as many other diners in the Applebee’s. 

“Are you two done with your meals?” Church nodded and gave him a ‘what does it look like’ face. Palomo cleared their plates and put them on a tray to make it easier to carry out. “Would you two care for dessert?” 

“No! Just the check!” Palomo quickly rushed out of the dining area and into the kitchen, carrying the tray of dirty dishes. He returned soon after with a little black book containing the check. Church threw in a ten dollar bill and handed the book over to Simmons. He threw in fifteen dollars to cover for the tip. 

“Can you wait for Palomo to come back? I need to rush out of here to make sure Blue Bean hasn’t been completely and utterly destroyed.”  
No wonder why he was eating so quickly. “Yeah, sure.” 

Church jumped out of the booth and sprinted for the door. He had a bad feeling in his gut that the coffee shop would be in disorder when he arrived.  
As Simmons was waiting for Palomo to come back to take the check, he began formulating a plan so that Red Roast would be the only coffee shop on the block. He would not close up shop due to a couple of idiots across the street from him.


	5. Unexpected Events

Church ran down the street as fast as he could. He couldn’t leave his precious coffee shop alone with those two dumb fucks for a second longer. He rounded a corner and ran straight into a woman with a cup of coffee. The cup smashed into the woman and drenched her in the brown liquid. Church soon realized that the cup the woman was holding from Red Roast.

“I am so sorry!” Church stood up and brushed himself off and held out his hand for the woman to take. She just huffed and ignored Church’s hand as she pulled herself up. 

“Well this is just great! I knew I should’ve gone into Blue Bean. At least if I had gone there, I would have kept a little extra money in my pocket.” The woman started brushing the dirt off her clothes. 

Church was sure that if he was a dog, his ears would have pricked up. He had no idea that they’re coffee was less expensive than Red Roast’s. Now he couldn’t stop wondering if there was a reason behind the difference in price. However, he could get the answer to one of his questions right now. “I’m very sorry about that. Would you be able to tell me why you went to Red Roast instead of Blue Bean in the first place.”

The woman turned her attention away from the dirt on her jeans and locked eyes with Church. She immediately burst out laughing. “Oh don’t tell me you haven’t heard!?” She stopped for a second and searched Church’s face. When she realized Church wasn’t catching onto her joke, she continued. “There is a giant line of people waiting outside of Blue Bean. There is only one guy working actually working. There’s another staff member there, but he kept claiming that he isn’t allowed to leave the window. He says he has some special orders from a guy named Church.” Church sucked in a deep breath of cold air and listened as the woman continued speaking. “The guys over at Red Roast are trying to steal their customers. Some of them went over to Red Roast but others stayed on the line because they’d rather spend less money on decent coffee. Others just left all together. They probably went to Starbucks or something. I, on the other hand, was heading to Red Roast anyways.” She gestured to the crushed coffee cup lying on the sidewalk. “At least I was able to get about two sips out of that coffee before it went all over me.” The woman gave a hard look at Church.

“Listen, I am very sorry. Thank you for the information, but right now I have to go deal with two idiots and an insane amount of people in my coffee shop.” Church watched as the lady’s jaw dropped. He quickly sprinted away from her. He could hear heavy footsteps coming from behind him but he ignored them. He already knew it was the woman coming after him and Church didn’t feel like being bombarded with questions. He couldn’t deal with them when he had a coffee shop to run.

-

About five minutes later, Church realized what the woman was talking about. The line to Blue Bean was out the door. He looked across the street and Church couldn’t believe what he saw. The three Red Roast guys were trying extremely hard to get customers, it was pathetic. The guy in the yellow shirt and the guy in the dark red shirt were holding up signs trying to promote their coffee. However, that wasn’t the worst part. The guy in the pink shirt was trying to pole dance utilizing a street light. Church just shook his head and averted his eyes. He didn’t hear the footsteps behind him for about two blocks now. Maybe he finally lost her.

Church started making his way through the line of people outside his coffee shop. Some people let him through, yet others flipped him off and yelled other expletives at him as he walked through. They thought 

he was cutting them on the line. How precious. Maybe they just won’t get served their drink after waiting this entire time on the line. Church finally got through the entrance of his precious coffee shop. He walked through and Tucker immediately grew ten times happier. After seeing the look on Church’s face, his smile shrunk by half of its original size. Church went behind the counter and went into the back room. He picked up one of the extra aprons and hurriedly threw it on. He walked out of the back room door and into the mess of the coffee shop. He walked over to Tucker, who was by the coffee grinder, and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You take orders and run the cash register. I’ll make all the drinks. The only ones you speak to are the customers. Got it?” Tucker just nodded and walked over to the cash register. This was going to be a long night.

-

An hour later and they had finally closed up the shop for the night. Church was exhausted and didn’t feel like dealing with anyone’s bullshit. However, he knew he was going to have to. Caboose didn’t do jackshit when Church got back, except stare out the window like he was instructed to do. It was technically Church’s own fault, but he was still pissed at Caboose for not doing anything. Granted, how was Church supposed to expect to have a giant mass of people come to the coffee shop at one time? He wasn’t. They hardly even have thirty people come to the shop in one day, let alone one hour. And that’s on a good day. However, Church wasn't going to let it get to him. He had a long day and didn’t feel like dealing with these two idiots any longer. They already finished clean up. Church glanced at the clock. It read 10:30. 

“Come on you two.” Tucker and Caboose looked at Church suspiciously and exited the coffee shop. Church followed them out and locked the shop up behind him. “Goodnight. Next time, if there is a giant line like that and I am not there, I don’t care what I had said previously, you help him Caboose. Got it?” Caboose nodded his head. 

“Good. Goodnight.” Church walked in the direction of his apartment, definitely ready to get to sleep.


	6. Red Roast's Plan

Simmons walked into the coffee shop. Sarge and Grif were already setting up the shop for the day. There was no Donut in sight. At the sound of the door closing, Sarge looked up. “Good to see you, Simmons. Are you ready to make more money than those dirty blues ever will?” Sarge always sounded excited in the morning, especially when he knows he has a chance at beating Blue Bean at their own game.

 

“Absolutely, captain,” Simmons replied. He started taking the chairs down from atop the tables and placed on the ground.

 

“That’s Sarge to you!” Sarge shouted. After a minute he added, “Simmons! You’re unusually happy at this time in the morning.”

 

At this point, Grif decided to throw in his two cents. “Yeah, you are. What got you in such a good mood?”

 

Simmons, who was slightly smiling, couldn’t contain his grin anymore. He smiled widely for his fellow workers to see. “I might just have a plan so that we are the only coffee shop on this street.”

 

That statement caused Sarge to smile and even Grif! Grif beat Sarge to speaking. “Well why didn’t you say so! Come on! Tell us!.”

 

Sarge quickly followed Grif’s statement with, “Out with it, boy! Use your words!”

 

Simmons just shook his head no. “Not until Donut gets here.”

 

“Oh come on,” Grif complained. “He isn’t even that important here! All he does is greet people when they walk in and when the leave, he tells them to ‘have a great day.’ See! He has the easiest job here and probably gets paid the most!”

 

Sarge decided this would be a great time to speak. “Actually, he gets paid the least. I would know; I make the paychecks.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Simmons said. “Enough of the arguing. We are going to wait for Donut to get here before any plans are said, end of discussion.”

 

Sarge and Grif sighed and groaned, but they stopped complaining and carried on with their jobs. By the time all of the chairs were on the ground and the floor was all swepped, Donut finally showed up in time to fill up the coffee makers with the coffee beans. Sarge and Grif have never been so happy to see him.

 

“Donut! You are finally here!” Sarge rushed over to him right as he walked in through the door. “I’m glad to see you, young man!”

 

Donut had never looked more confused in his entire life. “Sarge? Is that you?” He quickly looked to Simmons. “What is going on here? What did I miss?”

 

Simmons just rolled his eyes. “He’s just happy you’re here because I refused to tell these two idiots my plan to shut down Blue Bean before you arrived.”

 

Donut’s eyes immediately lit up. “Seriously? That is fantastic! In all honesty, I thought that we’d be the ones driven to shutting our doors” The three men quickly shot daggers at Donut. “What? It’s true!”

 

Simmons shook off Donut’s doubt and allowed his face to soften. He quickly replaced his smile back onto his face. “Are you all ready to hear my idea?” The three men eagerly nodded. “We host a competition!” The three clearly were not impressed Donut was the one who first decided to speak.

 

“What do you mean, Simmons? Could you explain it a bit? I believe I speak for all three of us when I say I’m unimpressed.” Sarge and Grif both nodded and said yes after Donut’s statement.

 

Simmons took a deep breath before he started speaking again. “I mean we host a competition without them even knowing. We give out little coupons and host small sales. Maybe we could even give our customers incentives. It’s like we’re competing with them without them even knowing.”

 

Grif held up a hand to have Simmons stop talking. “How will that make Blue Bean shut their doors? Wouldn’t we technically be losing money?”

 

Simmons was anticipating someone to ask a question of that nature. “It might seem that way, but in actuality, we’ll be making more. Currently, it seems like we have a relatively equal amount of customers coming in and out.”

 

This time, it was Donut who stopped him. “Actually, from last night’s little display, it seems as if Blue Bean has more customers.”

“Well regardless!’ Simmons snapped. “We can set up one of those little cards. The ones where you can punch holes in them whenever they place an order. When the customer makes ten purchases, they get their eleventh item free! It’ll be perfect.”

 

Sarge deadpanned at Simmons. “Is that all you’ve got?”

 

Simmons could feel sweat dripping down his neck. “That’s not all! We could also be more personable with our customers. Statistics show that customers don’t want to be just handed their product and be done. They want to talk to the associate, they want to feel as if they’re having a real conversation with another human.”

 

Sarge decided to speak again. “Is that it? That’s your great idea? Punch cards, deals and friendships?”

 

Donut came to Simmons’ aid. “Well, it isn’t the greatest but it’s better than nothing. I mean, we didn’t come up with any brilliant plans.” Donut gestured to himself, Grif and Sarge. “At least he’s thought of something that has the potential to work.” 

 

Simmons nodded in thanks to Donut and Donut returned it with a smile. “See? At least someone is on my side.”

 

“I guess it might work,” Grif proclaimed. “There’s no harm in trying, right?”

 

Simmons couldn’t help but smile. He turned to Sarge to see what he would say. Sarge sighed and said, “Well, Simmons. You better start working on those punch cards. We open in a few minutes.”

 

Simmons was beaming from ear to ear. “Already did that, boss.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small flash drive for the three men to see. “I was working on it all last night.”

“Well what are you waiting for, then? Go in the back and print them out and make it snappy!” Sarge gestured to the door. There was already a small congregation of people waiting for their morning cup of coffee.Simmons rushed off to go print the cards. Sarge took a closer look out the glass door to see what was happening over at Blue Bean. He was amazed at the sight. “Hey! We have more people waiting outside than Blue Bean does!”

A couple of minutes later, Simmons came back from the back room carrying a stack of punch cards. “I think we’re ready to face the day.” Simmons walked behind the coffee bar and placed the cards next to the cash register. Simmons nodded in Sarge’s direction. That was his cue to turn the sign from closed to open.


	7. Blue Bean's Realization

“Come on guys!” Church shouted. “We’re about to open and we haven’t even swept the floors yet!” Tucker and Caboose were rushing around the shop, trying to get everything all together. Church was helping them until he decided to take a short water break. He arrived before everyone else and had done the most work. Now, he realized he’d have to get up and start setting up again. Church sighed and walked away from the cash register with his empty cup and placed it into the trash can. He picked up the broom and began sweeping the floor while Tucker and Caboose placed chairs in front of their respective tables. When they were finished with all their jobs, Church placed the broom back. At that spot, he admired their hard work. He silently congratulated himself for dealing with these idiots without making conversation. He decided he'd start the conversation now, even if he didn't want to. He'd have to communicate with his co-workers sometime during the day. “You two rest for a great day of work?” Church thought he sounded peppier than he seemed, but he'd eventually get over it. 

“Yes I am!” Caboose exclaimed. He smiled at Church. “I'm glad I can spend the day working with my best friend.”

 

Church rolled his eyes and then turned his attention to Tucker. Tucker just shrugged. ‘That's not like him,’ Church thought to himself. ‘He usually has some kind of comment, even if most of the time it's an inappropriate one.’ 

 

“Are you feeling okay, Tucker?” Church decided he might as well see if something is bothering his employee. He might be a boos, but that doesn't mean he's heartless. 

 

Tucker just nodded and carried along his merry little way. He quickly found interest in a table that was crooked. 

 

Church shrugged off Tucker’s disinterest in speaking. He figured Tucker would come to soon enough and confront him on the matter. Church began to fumble with the keys on his key ring attached to his pocket. He unhooked them and found the right key. He walked to the door and stuck the key in the lock, turning it. He changed the sign from closed to open. Church then opened the door to allow customers to walk in. However, there was an issue with this. There were no customers outside waiting to get their morning cup of Joe!

 

“Tucker! Come here!” Church shouted. Tucker quickly came running to his manager's side. Church spoke again before Tucker could say anything. “Why don’t we have any customers waiting outside.” Church gestured wildly towards the empty sidewalk that lays before him. “We always have at least ten people waiting here! Where could they have gone?”

 

At this point, Tucker didn’t even have to say anything. He must have been paying more attention to what was happening across the street than Church was, for he caught on rather quickly. He tapped his boss on the shoulder and then pointed straight ahead. 

 

What Church saw made him furious. There was a line outside of Red Roast that went all the way outside of the shop! “How the fuck did this happen?” Church watched as people went in and out of Red Roast while Blue Bean stayed deserted. “What are we doing wrong?”

 

“Hey look!” Caboose piped up. “They are all coming out with a little piece of paper! And I can see right through it!”

 

Church focused his eyes on the most recent customer that exited Red Roast. In one of his hands he spotted a coffee cup. In the other hand, he saw exactly what Caboose had been talking about; a piece of paper with a hole through it. On closer inspection, Church could tell that it was some sort of rewards card. “Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!” 

 

Church handed his keys over to Tucker. “Hold these. I’ve got some business to take care of.” Church marched across the street to his rival coffee shop. He didn’t bother to wait online; he just barged right in. He heard the people behind him complaining about his cutting the line, but he just flipped them off. “You’re going to stop coming to my coffee shop, fuck you! Fuck all of you, assholes!” Church stomped up to the cash register. Lucky for him, Simmons was manning the machine. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

 

Simmons face just turned into a wide grin. “I’m sorry but I am very busy here. If you aren’t going to order anything, you might as well leave. Plus, you cut the line, so I’d recommend you leave now before you start a riot back there.”

 

“Oh come on! Cut the shit, Simmons! I want answers and I want them now. It isn’t just a coincidence that you invite me to dinner last night and then all of a sudden I lose all of my customers to you the next day!” Church grabs Simmons by the collar of his shirt and starts shaking him. “Start talking, red!”

 

“Put me down and I’ll speak!” Simmons struggled to speak, but he eventually was able to choke it out. Church complied with Simmons’ request. Simmons cleared his throat before he started speaking. It was hard to make out what he said over the revolting coffee addicts, but Church was able to hear Simmons’ words in his low tone. “After our little dinner last night, I realized that you work with a group of idiots. I mean, I thought my co-workers were stupid, but yours takes the cake. I knew that one of these days, one of our two coffee shops would have to close down. I decided right after you left that it would not be mine. So, have fun blue, but with your bunch of idiots, I don’t even know how you have a chance of winning.” 

 

Church was absolutely dumbfounded. He didn’t know what else to say. Sadly, Simmons had another trick up his sleeve. “You might want to get going, blue. You have a line of angry coffee needers behind you, and I’d hate to deal with them before they get their daily cup of Joe. But don’t worry! I’m not going to let you leave empty handed!” Simmons thrust one of his rewards cards into Church’s hands. “Here’s a special card, just for you; and please, tell your friends.” Simmons turned behind him and shouted to the back door. “Donut! We are going to need more cards!”

 

Church made his exit of shame to the door. Many angry customers shouted curse words at him, but he responded with a fist in the air with only the middle finger raised. 

‘This idiot seriously thinks that they will force us to close up shop!?’ Church exited the door and crossed the street to get to his one coffee shop. ‘This means war!’


End file.
